


Lay Your Head Down in My Arms

by Weather



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Crying, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 05:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weather/pseuds/Weather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alana seeks comfort from Will after she receives some distressing family news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay Your Head Down in My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the following prompt at Hannibalkink:  
>  _alana comes to wills house freaking out about something completely unrelated to will, will comforts her_  
>  \+ for "hey, shhh, its okay"  
> ++ hugs  
> +++ forehead kisses

Alana rubbed her eyes and got out of her car. She started towards Will’s house then paused uncertainly halfway there. It was stupid her being here. Will could barely even cope with everything he had to process on a daily basis. What right did she have to be here unloading onto him?

She turned and started back to her car when the dogs rounded the corner of Will’s house and in a flurry of excited barks and wagging tails bounded over to greet her. She bent down to greet them and for the first time since she’d had that phone call a small smile spread across her face as their enthusiasm spread. 

“Hey guys,” she said softly, ruffling her hands into Winston’s coat. 

“Alana?” 

She rose to her feet and turned towards Will, waving awkwardly. 

“Hi.”

“Were you coming or going?” He asked as he crossed the yard to meet her. 

“I was, uh, I…” she stammered. She closed her eyes and blew out a long breath, recomposing herself. “I just got here, then I thought better of it and I was going to leave but I guess I got caught.” She picked up the tennis ball that had been dropped expectantly at her feet by one of the dogs. She smiled as she pitched it and the dogs went tearing across the yard after it. 

“Alana?” She was used to Will’s glances as flirtatious moments, little rewards for being one of the few people he truly trusted, something to be treasured so that him looking at her as he was, _really looking at her,_ felt like a suffocating weight.

‘I’m sorry,’ she was going to say. Or, ‘I shouldn’t have come,’ or hell, maybe even, ‘I got a phonecall this morning and-‘ Instead what happened was the dam that had been threatening to break all morning burst and she let out a half stifled sob and then dissolved into tears. 

If her sudden breakdown freaked Will out she couldn’t tell because she was crying too hard. Her breath came in laborious inhales that shuddered through her chest before being expelled in further floods of tears. She had half-turned to leave again when Will wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She wanted to stop and to apologise for the mess she was making as she sobbed all over his jacket and to explain but she couldn’t stop crying. Fat, hot tears rolled down her cheeks and there was nothing she could do to stop them. 

She was half aware of Will comforting her, the gentle way he was rubbing her back, a soothing whisper of “Hey, shh, it’s okay,” as though he were trying to calm a child, even the way he held her, not so tight as to smother her but enough so that she felt protected. She let out a hiccupping sob and burrowed her face tighter against his jacket as though it would do something to preserve the last of her dignity as the tears continued to flow.

“I’m sorry,” she managed as her sobbing eventually died down. She swiped at her eyes as she continued to cry. “I shouldn’t have-” She pulled away from him.

“It’s okay,” Will repeated gently. He pulled a Kleenex from his jacket pocket. “It’s clean I promise,” he said with his lopsided sad smile that pulled at Alana’s heart on a normal day. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” He slowly and carefully wiped the tears from her face with the tissue. It took her a little while to realise that the reason he kept repeating both phrase and action was that even though she was no longer sobbing she was still weeping. She swiped at her face and nodded, biting down on her lip, unable to trust herself to speak. 

“Come inside.” Will offered her the Kleenex and then held his hand out. She nodded, taking the Kleenex and mopping at the tears that were still falling and then slipped her hand into his. Alana couldn’t remember the last time she’d held hands with somebody and the act of thinking about it slowed the flow of tears and by the time Will had carefully shepherded her into the house she’d finally stopped. 

“Sorry.” She whispered it so quietly she thought it might have been missed. She could feel her cheeks going pink and she stared at the floor in embarrassment. Will hung his jacket on the peg by the door and nodded without looking at her. 

“I just have to feed the dogs and then I’ll make us coffee, okay?”

She nodded mutely, still staring at the floor. 

“The bathroom’s just through the door on the left if you wanted to, um-“

“Thanks,” she managed to spit out and bolted through the door as fast as possible. 

Staring at her reflection in the mirror was not a complete shock. Her face was puffy and swollen and her eyes were red and bloodshot as expected. Alana sighed and ran the faucet, slowly washing her face in the cool water. Every now and then she would feel the tears forming in her eyes again and she would have to stop and force herself to inhale and exhale slowly and deliberately to stop them. She took a handful of Kleenex from the box and blew her nose and then took another clean handful and let herself out of the bathroom. She could hear the dogs still eating and the faint hiss of the coffee maker down the hall. 

She walked up to the kitchen entrance and took a deep breath, forcing her shoulders down and her chin out before entering the kitchen. 

“Hi.” Alana hovered awkwardly in the doorway as Will finished sorting out the dogs. 

“Hey. Um, how are you…um?” Will crossed the kitchen and washed his hands before concentrating on fixing them coffee. His return to awkwardly punctuated conversation reassured her and she laughed. 

“I’m sorry about that, I…” She took a deep breath. 

“Here.” Will handed her a cup of coffee that looked like it was more milk and sugar than anything else and she took it gratefully before following him to the table and sitting down. 

She cleared her throat, took another deep breath and staring intently at her cup of coffee started to explain. “I had a call from my Mom this morning. My brother, he… There was an accident.” She said flatly. 

“Is he okay?”

“He has a concussion and a couple of broken ribs.”

Will frowned. “That’s good isn’t it?”

Alana nodded. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

Will shook his head. “I don’t… It must have been a shock.”

Alana sighed. “When I spoke to my Mom… Bobby…” She stopped and bit her lip trying to will the words to come out without bursting into tears again. 

“Mom told me where he had the accident. He was driving back and he swerved to avoid hitting a deer or something and lost control and hit a tree. He was lucky.” Her voice wavered and she swallowed a few times before continuing. 

“He had a blood alcohol level of 0.12% when they took him to hospital. He shouldn’t have…” She was silent for a long time, staring at her coffee as it slowly cooled. 

“I went to see him out there a couple of years ago. He was having some problems… I, God, _I know the road,_ Will.” She glanced at him and shrugged. “I know the road. There’s no deer round there, nothing that was going to run out into the road and cause him to hit a tree. If he hit it, it’s because,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “It’s because he meant to.”

Will sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” she said bitterly. “I should’ve known. I should’ve-“

“You can’t bla-“

“What is the point?” she yelled. “What is the point of doing what I do if I can’t help him? I knew his drinking was getting bad again. I should have known this was coming. I should’ve been able to help him, I…” Her voice shook with anger and she was shocked by the powerful, white hot surge of it that ran through her. She picked up her cup of coffee then placed it back on the table as her hands shook. For the first time that morning she didn’t feel close to crying but her breath came in short, dry sobs and it was a while before she could look at Will. 

“Alana,” he said and she nodded in acknowledgement. He started to say something then stopped, abruptly changing his mind. 

“Say it,” she said.

Will sighed. “You can’t save everyone. You can’t force him to stop drinking if he doesn’t want to and he’ll have to take responsibility for what he did.”

“I know,” she whispered and out her head in her hands. “I know. I just… Maybe I should go out there and help him out? Just for a bit?” 

“It’s not-” He stopped and shook his head. “I can’t pretend that I really know what it’s like, to uh, to feel that family connection.” His face twisted in a sad almost smile. “But um, maybe what he needs is to concentrate on getting well. You could help him get the right sort of treatment and maybe go and see him when he’s a bit more…”

“Stable?” She said with a grimace. 

Will shrugged apologetically. “I guess.” He shook his head in frustration. “Wouldn’t it be better to be talking to Hannibal about this? I mean, he would know what sort of care your brother would needs better than I do.”

Alana sighed. “When I leave here, I’ll spend the rest of the day on the phone to colleagues and professionals and anyone I can think of who can help him but I just… I just wanted to talk to someone who could-”

“Understand?”

“Who could listen as a friend and not as someone who would be thinking about it as a shrink or who,” She stopped and cleared her throat, “Who would see it as a reflection on me.” She blushed with shame.

“Oh.” Will was silent for a long time and Alana took a sip of her now cool coffee. “I…”

“It’s okay,” she said rising from her seat with a smile. “Thank you, for the coffee and, uh, everything else. I should get going. Lots of phonecalls to make!” She said with a paper thin bravura that clearly did nothing to fool Will as his brow furrowed in concern again. 

He followed her to the door and out onto the porch, trailed by a couple of the dogs. “Listen if you need anything or you want to-”

“I know. Thank you Will.” She hesitated for a moment and then pressed a small kiss to his cheek and sighed as he wrapped his arms around her again and rested his head on top of hers before lightly returning her kiss on her forehead. 

“Anytime you want to talk, call me. Okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered into his chest. “Okay.”

She waved to him as she walked back to her car across the yard. “Thank you,” she said again, although she wasn’t sure if it carried back to him. He waved back and she smiled, took a deep breath and got into her car.


End file.
